Since
I gave up hope, I feel much better.
- Unknown
When people
agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
- Oscar Wilde
Some people
are like Slinkies... Not really good for anything, but
they still bring a smile to your face when you push
them down a flight of stairs.
- Author Unknown
Never
keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
It's cheaper.
- Quentin Crisp
Man has made
use of his intelligence; he invented stupidity.
- Remy
de Gourmont
Life
is rather like a can of sardines: we're all of us looking
for the key.
-
Alan Bennett
I
figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery
whether you play or not.
- Fran Lebowitz
If
you really want something in this life, you have to
work for it -
Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!
- Homer
Simpson
My
life's dream has been a perpetual nightmare.
- Voltaire
Three may
keep a secret if two are dead.
- Benjamin
Franklin
The world
is full of willing people; some willing to work, the
rest willing to let them.
- Robert Frost
It's a dog
eat dog world, and I'm wearing milk bone underwear.
- Norm, from the TV show "Cheers"
The female
of all species are most dangerous when they appear to
retreat. - Don Marquis
The
meek shall inherit the Earth.......if you don't mind.
- Graffiti
Visualize
Getting Towed
- sign on a private driveway
between The Zen Center in Marin, California and Muir
Beach (where public parking is limited)
It's not
whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.
- Anonymous
I
think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
- Thomas
Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943
If something's
hard, then it's not worth doing.
- Homer Simpson
When I was
a boy I was told that anybody could become President;
I'm beginning to believe it.
- Clarence Darrow
It is inexcusable
for scientists to torture animals; let them make their
experiments on journalists and politicians.
- Henrik Ibsen
Many of us
spend half our time wishing for things we could have
if we didn't spend half our time wishing.
- Alexander Woollcott
A
man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is
married.
- H. L. Mencken
And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter?
Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes
some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took
that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
- Homer
Simpson