Witty Quotations
It
is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid
than to open it and remove all doubt.
- Mark Twain |
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You
cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them
and hope they panic and give in.
- Author Unknown
Bad
spellers of the world - Untie!
- Graffiti
Don't
wish ill for your enemy, plan it.
- Syrus, Maxims
Do
not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you.
Their tastes may not be the same.
- George Bernard Shaw
You
win again, gravity.
- Captain Zapp Brannigan, from Futurama
Psychiatry
is the care of the id by the od.
- Author Unknown
A
vaccum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that
nature replaces it with.
- Tennessee William, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
The
secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake
that, you've got it made.
- Groucho Marx
Knowing
what goes on behind my placid exterior, I have a strong suspicion
of what goes on behind yours.
- Richard Needham
Always
do right. That will gratify some of the people, and astonish
the rest. - Mark Twain
It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has
plenty of work to do.
- Jerome K. Jerome
Experience teaches you to recognize a mistake when you've
made it again.
- Unknown
Suburbia
is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names
the streets after them.
- Bill Vaughan
If
I owned both Texas and Hell, I'd rent out Texas and live in
Hell.
- Philip Henry Sheridan
Golf
is a good walk spoiled.
- Mark Twain
Having
children is like having a bowling alley installed in your
brain.
- Martin Mull
The
power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism
by those who have not got it.
- George Bernard Shaw
A
man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
- H. L. Mencken
If
they could figure out a way to channel my anger, they could
solve the energy crisis.
- Woody Allen
Providence
protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested
it.
- Mark Twain
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